Everything Is The Same

Those who know me know I spend a likely unhealthy amount of my time consuming various forms of media. Be it books, movies, music, or television shows, I have devoted so much of my time to the consumption of the many stories told through various popular media that I find references and similarities everywhere (one of the many reasons I love the cartoon Phineas and Ferb).

The use of the same four or so chords in pop music has been well documented by several sources such as the Axis of Awesome and Rob Paravonian, and I won't be addressing this issue in this post while there are others who do so in a far more entertaining fashion.

I will instead focus my attention on the use of sound and music in television and film in this post. To provide some context, I have recently begun watching the BBC series Sherlock (a re-telling of the story set in modern times, one of three Sherlock Holmes projects produced in the past few years that I know of. And by far the best), and have spent the past several days convinced there must be some overlap between the sound/music team for Sherlock and the sound/music team of Dexter (a show about a serial killer. Seasons one and four are two of the greatest pieces of television I have ever seen. The rest of the series, not as much). After some research, I have found this to be extremely unlikely, but I still cannot make it through an episode of Sherlock without thinking of Dexter's theme song.

The second "wait a minute, isn't that what they did in (insert song/album/book/TV show/movie)" moment I had recently came when I watched Who's That Knocking At My Door, Martin Scorcese's first film. If you do not know who Martin Scorsese is, look him up. Then, you should lock yourself in a room for several hours familiarizing yourself with his work.

While watching this film, I realized that American filmmakers of Italian heritage really like using The Doors' "The End" in their films. This song makes an appearance in the middle of Who's That Knocking At My Door, and the beginning of Francis Ford Coppola's Apocalypse Now, a film heavily based on Joseph Conrad's Heart of Darkness. If you are unfamiliar with Apocalypse Now or Francis Ford Coppola, stop reading this immediately and watch Apocalypse Now. And the Godfather. If you are unfamiliar with Joseph Conrad, it is highly unlikely you have completed high school in any public institution in the United States. If you are unfamiliar with The Doors, please never talk to me. You've clearly dedicated your life to worthy or productive pursuits such as feeding the poor or curing cancer, and probably shouldn't be reading this blog. Believe me when I say it is unlikely we have much in common.

That's all for now.

New Timeslot

Hey readers/listeners! Our new timeslot is 7-8pm on Mondays, courtesy of my having class so freaking late every day. While this will most assuredly interfere with my ability to watch How I Met Your Mother, sacrifices must be made. For the people. Be sure to listen at wmuc.umd.edu

Also, for those of you who are as of yet unaware, my co-host is recently engaged. Congratulate when able.

What I Learned Over New Years Break

Welcome back to Hostile Takeover, your friendly neighborhood blog. If you are anything like us, you spent the holiday season surrounded by friends and loved ones far, FAR away from Times Square, celebrating the death throes of 2012 in various states of inebriation. You have since likely spent the following week recuperating, and getting used to the new reality of 2013. I sincerely hope the young year has been as instructive for all of you out there in Reader-land as it has been for you.

Here are 3 things I learned over the very end of 2012 and very beginning of 2013:

1) The New York Giants don't always make the playoffs, but when they do, they win the Super Bowl. And they can only make the playoffs if their division and/or conference stinks. Because as great as they are in the postseason, they are a very mediocre regular-season team.

2) White Plains, NY is a sketchy, sketchy place. This is where I spent my New Year's Eve, and what I at first thought was a really corny event (complete with older cover band) took a dark turn for the city and participants later in the night, with broken glass littering the sidewalk, some stored robbed, some bars and restaurants locking their doors, and several drunken altercations.

3) The similarities between our political leaders in DC and the key players in the NHL lockout are terrifying. Both in the "fiscal cliff" situation and the lockout, everybody waited to the very last minute to get anything done. Common sense and consideration for the average fan/citizen were completely ignored. There are a number of people who believe this country should be run more like a business, but I really, really hope this is not what they had in mind.

Well, that's it for now. Stay classy, internet.

How to Avoid Human Interaction

Preface: Hey, all! For my first post for Hostile Takeover, I decided to share the result of one of my favorite assignments of the semester: write a "How to" in the style of Umberto Eco. Which is essentially just going on a sarcastic rant.

Modern technology is truly a wondrous thing. An unimaginable amount of information is accessible through the use of devices that can fit in your pocket. While much of this power is used to view videos of cats, pirate music, and share embarrassing photos of friends and family, the fact remains that the average upper-middle class member of Western society can learn about the Napoleonic wars, find a new quinoa recipe, or watch live events through hand-held gadgets. One use for all of this technology that has seemingly gone unappreciated is the ability for the owners of such devices to avoid the most frustrating and awkward task known to mankind: interacting and conversing with other people.

I have long pondered how to best be rid of people who keep wasting my time with their petty needs, concerns, and insecurities. However, much like many other members of my society, I have always tried to avoid being considered rude or inconsiderate. I know that the best way to get people to stop bothering me is to ignore them, but offending people can be potentially damaging to my career, love life, and social standing. A miraculous device known as the smartphone has provided me with the solution I have been seeking.

Through the behavior of my peers, I quickly deduced that ignoring the people around you is completely acceptable, so long as you are using a smartphone. After all, how could you possibly justify being offended by somebody ignoring you if a smartphone is involved? He could be answering an important e-mail, texting his significant other who could not possibly survive for more than a few minutes without hearing from him, watching a European football match, or setting a new record in Angry Birds! Interacting with those who may be physically close at the expense of these important  tasks would not only be inconvenient, it would be irresponsible! After some serious thought, I have deduced how to properly use a smartphone to effectively block out the rest of the world. These guidelines to smart phone and communication technology use are by no means exhaustive, but are a good starting point to cutting down on time wasted on having an actual conversation.

Under no circumstances should a smartphone be used like the average mobile phone. When voices become part of an interaction, a number of factors are immediately added to the equation. Tone, volume, and timing all become important. This needlessly complicates the conversation, which can often become as frustrating as in-person interactions. Text-based conversations are the simplest, most efficient method of communicating with your fellow human being.

Text-based interactions are great because there is a type of communication perfect for any situation. E-mails are great for formal messages and communicating with less tech-savvy relatives. LinkedIn messages provide a less formal way to contact potential employers, employees, or clients. The Facebook chatting system is ideal for maintaining several social relationships simultaneously. Texting functions similarly to the Facebook chatting system, but provides the illusion of intimacy, making it the ideal medium for pursuing romantic interests. The superior method of communication is, of course, “Tweeting”, since everybody knows that anything that is worth saying can be said in 140 characters or less.

The smartphone alone facilitates the use of  these methods of communication at all times, in almost any location. These methods all boil human communication down to its simplest, most efficient components. All of the frustrations and anxieties inherent in normal human interaction are absent in these forms of communication, if they are used correctly.

While these are all effective at eliminating the awkwardness of standard conversation from all intentional interactions, they do not account for unintentional interactions. I have wasted many valuable minutes of my life chatting with acquaintances that I encounter over the course of my average day. The smartphone has provided me with a solution yet again. I can simply buy a pair of headphones, plug them into my smartphone, and play the music that I have stored on the device. Even if I am not actually listening to music, I can now escape these random encounters with a simple nod or raising of the eyebrows. My acquaintances know that it would be highly insensitive of them to expect me to pause my music to converse with them. This method works best while on the move. When standing still or sitting down, playing mind-numbingly simple games such as Temple Run provide a legitimate excuse to ignore others.

An added bonus to using the capabilities of a smartphone to minimize human interaction is that it avoids the major pitfall associated with simply remaining isolated: self-reflection. The only process more frustrating and depressing than getting to know others is getting to know yourself. One of the key benefits of human interaction is creating a safe place where personal philosophies, insecurities, and failings need not be examined. Thankfully, the smartphone keeps you occupied so that you need never be completely alone or without distraction.

Social networks, smartphones, and advances in communication technology are often advertised as bringing people closer together. Ironically, these technologies often do just the opposite, sucking us out of the real world and plugging us into a virtual world where everything is simple, documented, and, most importantly of all, efficient. This virtual world favors the quantity of relationships at the expense of the quality of those relationships, allowing us to connect with more people than previously possible, but at a shallower level. These technologies allow you to learn a person's likes and dislikes, but do not allow you to hold somebody and look into their eyes when they tell you that they love you. The deepest and most rewarding relationships are sacrificed for stream-of-consciousness ramblings to strangers. Most importantly, these technologies rob us of the chance to know ourselves, to explore our own ideas, and to grow as people. The scariest part is that we are willingly making these sacrifices because the virtual world can be controlled, cleansing our interactions of our natural fears, challenges, and insecurities. We do not want to be scared any more, and do not fully realize what we are giving up along with the spontaneity of personal interactions and introspection.

Hostile Takeover: The First Post

Hello, and welcome to the inaugural post on Hostile Takeover's new blog.You can check back here every so often to read the awesome stuff that we will be posting. It's like the radio, but on the internet.

Also, make sure to check out our Facebook page for information on show times moving into 2013. That is, assuming that the world doesn't crack like an egg on 12/21/12.